Saturday, February 5, 2011

Check out MiChi – Csardas @lastfm

Friday, February 4, 2011

Graveyard shift time approacheth. Let the wailing and gnashing of teeth commence!

Lithium don't wanna forget how it feels without Lithium I wanna stay in love with my sorrow Oh but God I wanna let it go (Evanescence) 30 thoughts on the joy that is bipolar disorder.

Guess I best find myself something for dinner. Nothing sounds very enticing. Hurt my back again moving furniture. Bah!

Broke and feel like death. But compared to people in Egypt I have nothing to complain about. Shutting up now! It's time to get peckish with Aunt Rose.

Feeling Peckish

It's 1:23 in the morning and I am feeling punchy. I can't seem to relax my mind enough to sleep. I'm beginning the revisions for the second book in the series. Why is this not on my Book Blog? Because this shit's gonna get stupid!
I know that people are at least looking at this blog. Something like 900 of you have looked at it. But not one--no nary a one--has commented. I wonder why that is? I figure it has something to do with not talking about celebrities. Perhaps I'm just not particularly approachable. Or perhaps my posts aren't controversial or scandalous enough. Seriously--is it necessary to force me into revealing that I have been having impure thoughts about Legolas just to get you fuckers to comment? Is that really what it's going to take?
That's actually an inside joke. But here's a picture of Legolas anyway.

Working on early revisions for the second book in the series. I know, the first one isn't even out yet, but it's a compulsion. Must...write!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Can't do anything but hope for positive resolution in Egypt. I feel for the people there.

RT @falasteeni remember, at least 300 Egyptians have been killed by Mubarak's thugs for demanding their basic rights People let me remind you of my Kickstarter. I am offering some cool stuff!

RT @dailynewsegypt Egyptian army starts rounding up journalists jan25

RT @elizrael Man Who Posted Videos of Police Torture and Rape Hides From Mubarak Regime (on @WaelAbbas) Jan25

It's about time for me to begin a very long afternoon. I keep reminding myself that I don't have to work tonight at least. Fat people are people too The world's most annoying alarm clocks

Wednesday, February 2, 2011 You best believe I'll be trying this!

Penguins are a better image to go to sleep on than jerkoff former friends who screwed me over. Penguin dreams, people!

RT @paul_steele RT @Squirrelbasket: Penguins enjoy a wash and brush-up birds nature

Going to try to go back to sleep. Wrote a letter to my late father telling him of my recent accomplishments. On some level he knows.

Seeing a post by a former friend in my feed (via another friend's feed) soured my mood. Guy was a douche, hence former friend status. I dare you to look at them and not be awwww-struck. I dare you!

Finally done proofing my galleys! Made some important changes.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Here you go--the formula to win the lottery at last!

Nevermind, seem to have fixed it. Aren't you thrilled?

I have not slept. At all. And I need to be up in 2 hours and spend 8 hours observing in the O.R. Shit, shit, shit! Suicide ideation vs. suicide planning

Sinead O'Connor and Suicide Ideation

Sinead O'Connor expressed suicidal thoughts over her Twitter account but qualified that she did not actually intend to commit suicide. 
Suicide ideation is very common in people with mood disorders. It is necessary to discern between ideation and intent. If I were to go to the ER every time I had a suicidal thought, I'd have to set up a permanent home there. 
Some days are worse than others, but I would say that not a week goes by that I don't have suicide ideation to some degree. Planning only enters into it rarely.
I use a scale of 1-10 for the seriousness of the ideation and for the seriousness of the planning. Sometimes the ideation goes as high as 8. The planning rarely goes higher than a 2 or 3.
It is, thankfully, rare for me to self-injure at this point. I realize that during my life I made a lot of para-suicide attempts but only one actual full-on attempt, which wound me up very sick but nowhere near dead. I was actually lucky that I wasn't damaged. I swallowed the contents of a small bottle of Tylenol using facial cleaner to wash them down, then chugged a bottle of alcohol of some sort. Tylenol can actually damage the liver, so I was fortunate that I was okay.
However, just because most of the time my suicidal thoughts are ideation with very little planning doesn't mean that I am not at risk for attempting suicide. As things stand now, it's not very likely. But people with mood disorders already have a greater likelihood of attempting suicide than people who are not afflicted with such.
What can ya do? I'm not about to spend my entire life on a mental ward. That would surely make me want to off myself. So I'll keep on keeping on and live for the good times and for my loved ones.
It's quite probable that the only reason I'm alive is that I wouldn't want to screw over my son and the critters I've taken in.
As one of my therapists said, this ain't the Disneyland planet.
And as I replied, could we go to that planet next lifetime?
I can always hope.

Gwyneth Paltrow In Harper's Bazaar UK: 'People Are So Mean To Me'

She's an acceptable actress but everything I read about her as a person leads me to see her as a snooty, elitist jerk. So, maybe that's why a lot of people dislike her.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost