Wednesday, August 17, 2011

What Does Rose Believe?

I call myself a "Mystic Agnostic." I do not resonate with any one particular religion, though I come closest with Buddhism, which really is not a religion but a philosophy. One can be an atheist and a Buddhist. One can be an agnostic Buddhist. One could even be an (open-minded) Christian Buddhist or a Pagan Buddhist. This is what I like about Buddhism.
I want room to explore the possibilities and study various theories. The monotheistic religions certainly don't offer this. Many atheists take a sneering attitude towards anything that is not completely cut and dry belief that there is no soul and dead is dead rather than perhaps transitioned into another form.
Even being a witch didn't work for me as far as participating in a group. I am still a solitary practitioner. The "real" old tyme religion (Wicca/Paganism) has been fairly well usurped by a lot of new-agey types who are as judgmental as the Christians that many of them have tried to distance themselves from. I tried involvement in a coven and various groups myself but found that there were way too many judgmental individuals who believed that their take on polytheism/mysticism was the only way to interpret things. If I wanted to feel that way, I would have stuck with the jolly old Roman Catholic Church! It was very disressing to discover this sad truth about the so-called "open minded" polytheists/mystics.
While I feel that there is no such thing as the supernatural, only natural phenomena that we as of yet have no explanation for, I need to have those possibilities to explore. I don't need to buy into anybody's dogma or interpretation of the Universe. That includes zealot monotheists, the acerbic brand of atheist, and the know it all variety of New Age mystic.
Buddhism gives me a philosophy to guide my life. The rest is open. I want to explore the possibilities of ghosts, gods and goddesses, angels and demons, and all else existence has to offer. I don't believe that existence ends with death, I believe that our energy transforms. Unfortunately it is very difficult to find others with whom to have open-minded discussions about these possibilities.

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

I walk a lonely road
The only one I that have ever known
Don't know were it goes
But its home and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Blvd. of broken dreams
Were the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find
Till then I'll walk alone

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And were I walk alone

Read between the lines of what's
Fucked up and every things all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone.

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find
Till then I'll walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Blvd. of broken dreams
Were the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find
Till then I'll walk away!

Also, I am a devout Pastafarian

Thursday, July 28, 2011

The Top Side of Being a Bottom Feeder

Yes indeed, it is a bottom feeder

Having realized that I will never be famous, well-known, loved, achieve cult fame, be liked, or have an audience of more, what? Depressing? Discouraging? Disgusting? 
Well...yes, it is. But it is also very freeing.
I can write what the fuck I want. I don't have to care what group of "Trve Believers" of whatever variety I may piss off. I don't have any followers, hangers-on, or even people who give half a fart what I say. I can be who I am, not who you want me to be.
I'm sure that I'll love my forthcoming series of essays about the hypocrisy of dead celebrity worship. If my other personalities like them too, that's great. If not, I can go fuck myself for all I care.
Snarking my audience: just one of the many questionable services I offer.
Rose LeMort
Anti-Famous Hack Writer

Saturday, July 23, 2011

What Dreams May Come--or Will They?

This is a response to a post by Elizabeth about how women often end up putting our dreams on hold for the sake of society/family/convention.
I have huge conflicts about these two things. My work is not my passion, it's a job. I feel guilty about feeling this way, because it's a helper job. I'm a nurse aide who just got her nursing certification and is studying for the NCLEX exam. And while I certainly don't mind helping my son achieve his very important goals by taking him to the community college (I study while he's there) I sometimes feel like I'm always putting my dreams on hold. My dreams are all impractical things, like creative writing and acting. I've always been a creative person but with years of struggling with a mental illness that wasn't diagnosed until I was almost 40, I haven't made much headway and at this point the struggle to get my work recognized seems more terrifying than exhilarating.

Here is another fine post by Elizabeth about complimenting a woman without bringing her looks into it. Good stuff!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Flap over Breastfeeding Baby Doll Ridiculous

Here's the thing: in the United States, we have this bizarre dichotomy that sexualizes the female breast on one hand and on the other hand decries the function it was created for as "dirty and disgusting." Children the world over play "house" and pretend to be mommies. In other countries, breastfeeding an infant is seen as normal and natural. There is nothing disgusting about nursing a baby and nothing disgusting about a little girl playing "mommy." Perhaps those who think it's disgusting need to check their reasoning. I think its far more disgusting for breasts to be seen as "fun bags," playthings for the titillation of males who have the minds of horny adolescents. I think it's disgusting that women feel the need to alter their natural breasts with outlandish silicone sacks to please this sort of man.
Breasts are first and foremost created to supply nourishment to infants. Humans are mammals. Do the people that find this doll disgusting also find it disgusting when cats nurse their kittens, dogs nurse their pups, or cows, goats, sheep or horses nurse their young?
I had baby dolls and pretended to be a mommy when I was little. I didn't have my baby until I was 25 and married. The reason I initially had sex at 16 had nothing whatsoever to do with playing at being a mommy at a young age and everything to do with wanting to feel loved. My reasoning was erroneous, but it had nothing whatsoever with having seen my mother nurse my younger brother, or playing at being a mommy myself.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Positively 4th Street

Positively 4th Street

You got a lotta nerve
To say you are my friend
When I was down
You just stood there grinning

You got a lotta nerve
To say you got a helping hand to lend
You just want to be on
The side that’s winning

You say I let you down
You know it’s not like that
If you’re so hurt
Why then don’t you show it

You say you lost your faith
But that’s not where it’s at
You had no faith to lose
And you know it

I know the reason
That you talk behind my back
I used to be among the crowd
You’re in with

Do you take me for such a fool
To think I’d make contact
With the one who tries to hide
What he don’t know to begin with

You see me on the street
You always act surprised
You say, “How are you?” “Good luck”
But you don’t mean it

When you know as well as me
You’d rather see me paralyzed
Why don’t you just come out once
And scream it

No, I do not feel that good
When I see the heartbreaks you embrace
If I was a master thief
Perhaps I’d rob them

And now I know you’re dissatisfied
With your position and your place
Don’t you understand
It’s not my problem

I wish that for just one time
You could stand inside my shoes
And just for that one moment
I could be you

Yes, I wish that for just one time
You could stand inside my shoes
You’d know what a drag it is
To see you

Copyright © 1965 by Warner Bros. Inc.; renewed 1993 by Special Rider Music

I initially usurped Kai's blog to talk about certain backstabbing individuals who thought they put one over on me. I don't really have much of anything to add to that. I just want to dedicate this scathing little tune to them.


Friday, July 8, 2011

Breaking News: Michele Bachmann is a Reactionary Nut Job

Here is Michele's pledge to ruin save the United States. Let's take a look at each of these individually, shall we? Because Aunt Rose can't sleep and needs something to give her a laugh.

The Candidate Vow:Therefore, in any elected or appointed capacity by which I may have the honor of serving our fellow citizens in these United States, I the undersigned do hereby solemnly vow* to honor and to cherish, to defend and to uphold, the Institution of Marriage as only between one man and one woman. I vow* to do so through my:
* Personal fidelity to my spouse.
 Aunt Rose has no problem with this. Aunt Rose happens to like monogamy. Besides, Michele and her husband deserve each other.

* Respect for the marital bonds of others.
 Again, this is good. Aunt Rose does not like sleazy people who hit on other people's mates. Carry on.

* Official fidelity to the U.S. Constitution, supporting the elevation of none but faithful constitutionalists as judges or justices.

* Vigorous opposition to any redefinition of the Institution of Marriage - faithful monogamy between one man and one woman - through statutory-, bureaucratic-, or court-imposed recognition of intimate unions which are bigamous, polygamous, polyandrous, same-sex, etc.
 I don't get polyamory, but if all parties are in agreement, then I have nothing to say about it. I just don't want to participate in such a partnership. As for same sex marriage, I really don't get people who are threatened by it. I'm straight. How the hell is a gay couple getting married going to threaten any straight union that I may enter into? If a guy is gay, he isn't going to be interested in me anyway. So really, Michele and others who are threatened by same sex marriage--how does it affect you? What the hell are you worried about?

* Recognition of the overwhelming statistical evidence that married people enjoy better health, better sex, longer lives, greater financial stability, and that children raised by a mother and a father together experience better learning, less addiction, less legal trouble, and less extramarital pregnancy.
 Overwhelming statistical evidence huh? I'd say there is some statistical evidence. But I'm not here to quibble statistics. So--we should all get married even if we don't want to or stay in an unhappy marriage because DAMN IT THIS IS GOING TO MAKE US HAPPY! This makes no fucking sense. I would far rather be single than to be in a bad marriage. 
My son was four when his father and I got divorced. We had joint custody. I would rather not have had to raise my child as a single parent, but the marriage was so deteriorated and all we did was fight even though we had tried counseling. We got along much better as a divorced couple. 
My son has never been in any kind of legal trouble. He has never gotten a girl pregnant. He is now 21 and in school to become a pharmacy tech with an intention of going pre-med thereafter. A divorce wherein the couple remains civil to one another is far healthier than an unhappy marriage. As long as the kids know they're loved by both parents and the parents don't use the kid as a weapon against each other, that's what really counts.
Forcing people to stay in a bad marriage does not work. Keep your rules out of my house, Michele.

* Support for prompt reform of uneconomic, anti-marriage aspects of welfare policy, tax policy, and marital/divorce law, and extended "second chance" or "cooling-off" periods for those seeking a "quickie divorce."
what is this "quickie divorce" of which you speak? Perhaps such a beast exists. Even though my now ex husband and I were not contesting anything and did not involve lawyers, our divorce took a total of a year. I don't mind reforming "anti-marriage" rules on taxes or welfare because I think they're kind of bullshit. 

* Earnest, bona fide legal advocacy for the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) at the federal and state levels.
Bunch of damn, anti-gay, Fundie propaganda. Next.

* Steadfast embrace of a federal Marriage Amendment to the U.S. Constitution which protects the definition of marriage as between one man and one woman in all of the United States.
 She does sound like a broken record. Slag off, you cretin.

* Humane protection of women and the innocent fruit of conjugal intimacy - our next generation of American children - from human trafficking, sexual slavery, seduction into promiscuity, and all forms of pornography and prostitution, infanticide, abortion and other types of coercion or stolen innocence.
 "Innocent fruit of conjugal intimacy." That sounds dirty somehow. Of course I agree with protecting people from human trafficking or sexual slavery. As for "seduction into promiscuity," this is an iffy statement. Coercion of another person into sex is unethical and in some cases is sexual assault. In any case, it's not cool. But some people (like Michele) would take even a monogamous relationship between two unmarried young people as "promiscuity," at least on the part of the female.
People should not be forced into prostitution but I'm on the fence about legalizing prostitution. Of course no underage person should be selling sex. As for adults, I do not think that prostitutes should be charged with a crime. Legalizing prostitution might allow for laws protecting sex workers. That would be a positive thing. Keep in mind, I am not in favor of prostitution on a moral level. But I would like to see sex workers protected.
As for pornography, if it is between consenting adults, it should not be illegal. 
Nobody in their right mind would argue in favor of infanticide. Murder is a crime. As for abortion, there are gray areas. I don't like abortion. But I believe that it needs to remain safe and legal. Look at the Romanian orphans as an example for what happens when abortion is made illegal. A person should be able to obtain abortion on demand during the first trimester. Thereafter, decisions about abortion should be made in partnership with a medical professional. Things do go wrong during pregnancy and there are times when abortion is a medical necessity.

* Support for the enactment of safeguards for all married and unmarried U.S. Military and National Guard personnel, especially our combat troops, from inappropriate same-gender or opposite-gender sexual harassment, adultery or intrusively intimate commingling among attracteds (restrooms, showers, barracks, tents, etc.); plus prompt termination of military policymakers who would expose American wives and daughters to rape or sexual harassment, torture, enslavement or sexual leveraging by the enemy in forward combat roles.
Of course there should be rules safeguarding people from sexual harassment, rape, torture, enslavement, or sexual leveraging. 

* Rejection of Sharia Islam and all other anti-woman, anti-human rights forms of totalitarian control.
 You mean like Fundamentalist Christianity?
I don't like fundamentalist religion of any kind, which would include Sharia Islam.

* Recognition that robust childbearing and reproduction is beneficial to U.S. demographic, economic, strategic and actuarial health and security.
 Say whaaaat, Crazy Fool?
"Robust childbearing and reproduction."
Because we do not in any way have an overpopulation problem. 
It's time to go out there and get knocked up, Ladies! Better yet, let's all go Octomom and child-bear as robustly as possible! 
I am not going to turn my vagina into a Clown Car to satisfy Michele Bachmann's insane fundie agenda.

* Commitment to downsizing government and the enormous burden upon American families of the USA?s $14.3 trillion public debt, its $77 trillion in unfunded liabilities, its $1.5 trillion federal deficit, and its $3.5 trillion federal budget.
 Okay, sounds like a plan. And while we're at it, how about we quit outsourcing all our manufacture and tech support to other countries? How about we also tax the wealthiest instead of taxing the middle class into poverty?

* Fierce defense of the First Amendment?s rights of Religious Liberty and Freedom of Speech22, especially against the intolerance of any who would undermine law-abiding American citizens and institutions of faith and conscience for their adherence to, and defense of, faithful heterosexual monogamy.
But should you happen to speak of the right of gay couples to marry, you are out of line! head hurts. Fortunately I think this cretin is too much of a nut job to actually have a ghost of a chance to get elected. However, the fact that she's in office at all gives me pause. 

Sunday, June 12, 2011

RT @tweetsmarter r/t HowTo Use Twitter Lists to Promote non-profits and Causes You Care About:

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Check out Pectus – Hibernacja via @lastfm

Check out Jay Delano – Close to You (Extended) via @lastfm

I usually don't watch reality shows but there is a certain train-wreck charm about Ice T and Coco, so I may well watch their show. Advice for young folks from an old fart (me.)

Writer's Block

With nursing certification, it ain't over when it's over! I still have to study for the NCLEX and this is taking up a great deal of my time. I have dreadful writer's block, which I find depressing. I'll start something but be unable to follow through. I really hope that this will reverse once I'm done with all this. Please, if you are a young person reading this, find a trade that is tolerable to you NOW, get certified in it, and then pursue your passion, if it is something other than your trade. Do a little something with it every day. Don't wait until you are in your forties like me. It will only be much harder if you do.
Aunt Rosie

Am I the only one who gives not a rat's ass about the "red carpet?" My latest contribution to the group blog I take part in. Always fear I won't measure up.

A really big thanks to those people who said happy birthday to me back in February. I don't social network much, so didn't notice till now! Stop the vile sociopath Tinkebell from murdering animals. Let your voice be heard that this murdering monster should be stopped.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

A thought on horror writers and death obsession

The artwork is by Dennis Dread. Please pay him a visit.

Originally a comment on this post at the Chaos Matriarch blog.

Consciousness can be a curse, I suppose. Humans are the only animals that are aware of their impending mortality. Today my son and I were discussing how in order to be a horror writer one has to be at least a bit obsessed with death. We discussed the reasons why some of our favorite writers might have become obsessed with the subject. For my own part I suppose it's initially born of fear of dying and wanting to basically take up a sword and duel with that fucker Death, make him give me a few answers about why he's such a bastard. The dichotomy is that because of the depressive cycle of my bipolar disorder I also struggle with suicide ideation a lot of the time. Conversely I try not to be a horribly negative person. Life is hard enough without people having to deal with some nay-saying gloombag always shooting down their hopes and aspirations.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Check out MiChi – Csardas @lastfm

Friday, February 4, 2011

Graveyard shift time approacheth. Let the wailing and gnashing of teeth commence!

Lithium don't wanna forget how it feels without Lithium I wanna stay in love with my sorrow Oh but God I wanna let it go (Evanescence) 30 thoughts on the joy that is bipolar disorder.

Guess I best find myself something for dinner. Nothing sounds very enticing. Hurt my back again moving furniture. Bah!

Broke and feel like death. But compared to people in Egypt I have nothing to complain about. Shutting up now! It's time to get peckish with Aunt Rose.

Feeling Peckish

It's 1:23 in the morning and I am feeling punchy. I can't seem to relax my mind enough to sleep. I'm beginning the revisions for the second book in the series. Why is this not on my Book Blog? Because this shit's gonna get stupid!
I know that people are at least looking at this blog. Something like 900 of you have looked at it. But not one--no nary a one--has commented. I wonder why that is? I figure it has something to do with not talking about celebrities. Perhaps I'm just not particularly approachable. Or perhaps my posts aren't controversial or scandalous enough. Seriously--is it necessary to force me into revealing that I have been having impure thoughts about Legolas just to get you fuckers to comment? Is that really what it's going to take?
That's actually an inside joke. But here's a picture of Legolas anyway.

Working on early revisions for the second book in the series. I know, the first one isn't even out yet, but it's a compulsion. Must...write!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Can't do anything but hope for positive resolution in Egypt. I feel for the people there.

RT @falasteeni remember, at least 300 Egyptians have been killed by Mubarak's thugs for demanding their basic rights People let me remind you of my Kickstarter. I am offering some cool stuff!

RT @dailynewsegypt Egyptian army starts rounding up journalists jan25

RT @elizrael Man Who Posted Videos of Police Torture and Rape Hides From Mubarak Regime (on @WaelAbbas) Jan25

It's about time for me to begin a very long afternoon. I keep reminding myself that I don't have to work tonight at least. Fat people are people too The world's most annoying alarm clocks

Wednesday, February 2, 2011 You best believe I'll be trying this!

Penguins are a better image to go to sleep on than jerkoff former friends who screwed me over. Penguin dreams, people!

RT @paul_steele RT @Squirrelbasket: Penguins enjoy a wash and brush-up birds nature

Going to try to go back to sleep. Wrote a letter to my late father telling him of my recent accomplishments. On some level he knows.

Seeing a post by a former friend in my feed (via another friend's feed) soured my mood. Guy was a douche, hence former friend status. I dare you to look at them and not be awwww-struck. I dare you!

Finally done proofing my galleys! Made some important changes.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Here you go--the formula to win the lottery at last!

Nevermind, seem to have fixed it. Aren't you thrilled?

I have not slept. At all. And I need to be up in 2 hours and spend 8 hours observing in the O.R. Shit, shit, shit! Suicide ideation vs. suicide planning

Sinead O'Connor and Suicide Ideation

Sinead O'Connor expressed suicidal thoughts over her Twitter account but qualified that she did not actually intend to commit suicide. 
Suicide ideation is very common in people with mood disorders. It is necessary to discern between ideation and intent. If I were to go to the ER every time I had a suicidal thought, I'd have to set up a permanent home there. 
Some days are worse than others, but I would say that not a week goes by that I don't have suicide ideation to some degree. Planning only enters into it rarely.
I use a scale of 1-10 for the seriousness of the ideation and for the seriousness of the planning. Sometimes the ideation goes as high as 8. The planning rarely goes higher than a 2 or 3.
It is, thankfully, rare for me to self-injure at this point. I realize that during my life I made a lot of para-suicide attempts but only one actual full-on attempt, which wound me up very sick but nowhere near dead. I was actually lucky that I wasn't damaged. I swallowed the contents of a small bottle of Tylenol using facial cleaner to wash them down, then chugged a bottle of alcohol of some sort. Tylenol can actually damage the liver, so I was fortunate that I was okay.
However, just because most of the time my suicidal thoughts are ideation with very little planning doesn't mean that I am not at risk for attempting suicide. As things stand now, it's not very likely. But people with mood disorders already have a greater likelihood of attempting suicide than people who are not afflicted with such.
What can ya do? I'm not about to spend my entire life on a mental ward. That would surely make me want to off myself. So I'll keep on keeping on and live for the good times and for my loved ones.
It's quite probable that the only reason I'm alive is that I wouldn't want to screw over my son and the critters I've taken in.
As one of my therapists said, this ain't the Disneyland planet.
And as I replied, could we go to that planet next lifetime?
I can always hope.

Gwyneth Paltrow In Harper's Bazaar UK: 'People Are So Mean To Me'

She's an acceptable actress but everything I read about her as a person leads me to see her as a snooty, elitist jerk. So, maybe that's why a lot of people dislike her.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Monday, January 31, 2011

Thoughts On: Charlie Sheen

I'm not sure why, but I've always liked Charlie Sheen. I think that he basically means well but he's kind of screwed up. On the surface he may seem to be an irresponsible, selfish moron having a huge midlife crisis, snorting cocaine, drinking huge amounts, and partying with porn stars who couldn't give two shits about him as a human being.
Honestly, I don't think that he's happy. The sort of abuse that he's heaping on his body impacts both physical and mental health. Addiction is a complex problem. The thing is, he'd have to want to get help for the treatment to be successful.
Also, once a person has children the game changes. Your choices affect your children. I am sure that Charlie actually cares about his children, but he is out of control right now and cannot properly care for them. He has to want to care for himself before he can do right by anybody else. This is disgusting

RT @tomorrowknight WOW: Huge snowstorm in the US, viewed from SPACE /

Need to finish proofing my galleys. Stupid cat knocked over my V-8. I threatened to stew him in V-8 if he approached the coffee table again.

Egypt final data line cut off Google twitter workaround found Egyptian #s Google VM tweeting svc +16504194196 +390662207294 +97316199855 "Normal" work schedule may be detrimental to bipolar sufferers.

Following your Bliss: Start Young!

This is a response to a post at BP-Hope about 9-5 being a bad fit for many people with bipolar. Boy is it ever! I'm still punching a time clock (blah!) but I'll never do 9-5 again!

I've been stuck doing things that I don't really want to do for my entire working life, but when I was doing clerical-type work during "normal" hours, it was the absolute worst! I became incredibly depressed. A lot of bad stuff went down during that time too. 
I would love to be able to make a career out of writing and/or editing, but currently I'm stuck in health care. I'm paying to self-publish my first novel. 
I wish I knew how to get out of health care, but barring a miracle I don't think it's going to happen. I don't have a supportive life partner and I don't have any savings. In this economy and at my age, it would be insane to quit my job. a very important dream or astral experience

Pathetic is: when you have to get a cash advance from your credit card to pay the bill on the same card! I would never do that. (cough...)

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Bipolar, Borderline, Celibate

Hypersexuality: As devastating to relationships and self-esteem as a nuclear blast

This was a  response to an article on regarding bipolar disorder and hypersexuality, and how hypersexuality affects the person who is experiencing it. It really is NOT as much "fun" as it sounds to those who don't know the havoc it can wreak on a person's life.

With both bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder having wreaked havoc on my life in my younger years, I no longer have any desire for a relationship. I can't trust anyone enough. I intensely dislike casual sex and what it stands for. It leaves me feeling empty and disgusted. I got into a lot of bad relationships when I was younger and when I look back on it, they all started when I was needy and hypersexual. Now that I'm older any urge for sex comes less often and I'm grateful for it. Once I made the conscious decision to give up sex, sometimes an entire day would be eaten up by watching porn--not even stuff I want to do in real life, just anything that seemed a little extreme. I don't understand this as it is not who I am.  I have been celibate by choice for 13 years now. I do not have any desire to change this. For me, the way to short circuit hypersexuality is to just not go there. I'd rather be alone than with someone who's going to abuse me, as happened in the past.

Reviewing my proofs. They changed the font to make it more uniform. Apparently I'm the only one who thought that the variety fonts were cool

RT @huffingtonpost Nerds unite! Anonymous Internet users help Egypt; @ckanal & @jbialer report:

RT @ctkscribe Genius uses failure like Charlie Sheen uses cocaine. Failure gets genius high as kite bt while flying they reinvent air travel

RT @1successmentor When someone tells me no, it doesn't mean I can't do it, it simply means I can't do it w/them. -Karen E. Quinones Miller

RT @lorimoreno Diets Low In Omega-3 Linked to Depressive Behavior In Mice (Scientific American)

RT @ctkscribe One main trait of a genius is to not listen to naysayers. If you have an idea, pursue it regardless of potential failure.

Saturday, January 22, 2011 Exciting MacGyver facts for geeks (like me!) The Dumb Double Standard

The Dumb Double Standard

"Lesbians are hot but gay dudes are gross."
Most often spoken by adolescent minded straight guys whose homophobic parents told them that gay is gross.
But Bisexual Guy tells it better than I can!
Here's my response to his post about the subject.
The double standard is so, so, so ridiculous. Neither is gross, and as a straight woman, the two guys kissing was hotter to me! Besides, Adam Lambert is a real genuine gay dude. Britney Spears and Madonna? I don't know if either of them actually has any bisexual leanings, but I call lesbian for the camera on that one.
I get so burned up when guys talk about how hot lesbian porn is but then decry gay male porn as "gross." I tell them that they don't have to like it, but is no more gross than either lesbian or straight sex. Also, grow the fuck up!
I also love how films, in the United States at least, try to be ever so titillating (see what I did there?) with their female nudity, but show a penis and it's all shocking and immoral and getting an NC-17 rating slapped on it!

So if any of you use I'm on there as roselemort (duh.) I use it occasionally--sort of like the rest of this stuff.

Friday, January 21, 2011

And now I remember why I hate is having issues tonight. About brains

The siren song of food calls to me. "Roooose! Feeed your Faaat Cellls!!!!"

The little voice in my head keeps telling me "It's five o clock somewhere!"

"For people to love something others have to loathe it" -JK Rowling in response to critics. Love it RT @unmarketing @mysodotcom Check out Nutty Squirrel and other nutty animals too The difference between a skeptic and a cynic. Good explanation! Why yes, I have in fact wondered this. Why must screwing be so complex? I bet you have too!

After moving small fridge & mattress by self I am thinking 1 round w/Jose Cuervo may not be enough! Can't though. Have to work tonight. :-(

RT @arikarthick @JulianLennon @dianaanoann If u could kick the ass of who's responsible 4 most of ur troubles u wouldn't sit for a month :)

promised self if I go 3 rounds (3 hours) cleaning the back room of the house I can have one round w/Jose Cuervo (a Margarita) Going in! For those who still give a shit, here's 21 signs that a guy likes you

I've never gotten people who find cleaning therapeutic. I practically need therapy just to make myself start cleaning!

RT @campusprogress @ryanbrown89 on the dangerous world of at-home abortions p2 fem2

TGIF QUESTION: What's your favourite chocolate bar? Let us know by 9pm EST today to WIN an entire carton of your...

I love how there's always this assumption that EVERYONE wants to be "sexy" and "flirty." I've never flirted & I don't care about being sexy.

Ad: "be dangerously sexy, fabulously flirty, and 100% you." But if I tried to be dangerously sexy or fabulously flirty, I wouldn't be me! Feds sue employer for cancer pt. rights.

"Just do this" messages: "Just stop smoking." "Just eat less and exercise more." "Just throw stuff out." How bout "Just shut the hell up?"

I always love the "just do this" messages. If it was that easy to "just do it," wouldn't the person have already done it by now?

I have 7 cats. This falls into the category of "too many cats," not "animal hoarding." I have problems hoarding possessions, not animals.

I've never had this much trouble integrating a cat into my house. This girl is still scared of the others & 3 of them still terrorize her. Cliches That Make You Wanna Go HUUUURRRRLLLLL!!!!!!!

Cliches That Make You Wanna Go HUUUURRRRRLLLLL!

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
Really? I mean, REEEALLLLY???

Yeah, I am going to smile because someone turned out to be a douchebag and took a big dump on my emotions. I might be relieved to know that his douchiness was revealed so I could wash my hands of him, but "smile because it happened?" 
Really? I'm supposed to smile because I let a douchebag into my life, my heart, and probably my pants?
I think after I get through vomiting, I'll be beating myself with a stick because I was dumb enough to let it happen!

I suppose this lame cliché could apply to some wonderful project that you were working on and you're feeling blue because the project is at a finish. 
But if anyone said it to someone who was grieving the loss of a loved one, said bereaved person would be fully within their rights to choke a bitch! Only the Already Fit (and thin) Welcome At 24 Hour Fitness?

Only The Already Fit Welcome At 24 Hour Fitness

This is disgusting! I used to have a 24 hour fitness membership, but if I were to be able to afford a gym membership again, I would not be going to 24 hour fitness.

I'm passing along some information from a fellow size acceptance organization concerning weight discrimination from 24 Hour Fitness. This is not the first time we've encountered discrimination from them. Remember about 10 years ago, they had an ad campaign with aliens and the tagline "When they come, they'll eat the fat ones first!" That ad campaign was actually banned in China for singling out a group of people for discrimination (that had to have been a first of some kind concerning size discrimination). It wasn't banned in the U.S. but it was voluntarily withdrawn by the company after LOTS and LOTS of complaints from people. It may be time for Round Two!

- Allen Steadham, Director ISAA

For Immediate Release February 28, 2009

Oakland, CA - 24 Hour Fitness Club, the sponsor of the reality show The Biggest Loser, is discriminating against fat people in their REAL clubs. If they are not prepared or equipped to assist people of size in their pursuit of fitness and health, then why do they exist?

NAAFA has received several complaints about this organization, and most recently these were complaints of specific discrimination based on their size. Read just two examples:

Ranae was visiting a friend in Anaheim, CA last fall. Back home in West Virginia, she works out 4 times a week and maintains a moderate level of fitness. Not wanting to abandon her health regimen while on vacation, her friend took her to the Anaheim Hills 24 Hour Fitness Club where she was a member, expecting to bring Ranae into the club on a guest pass. The staff members of said club refused to issue a guest pass for Ranae citing liability issues (she is a size 24) and refused to elaborate on what that meant exactly, hiding behind "policy".

Enrique hosts a popular bi-lingual morning radio talk show in the greater Miami area. Having been a police officer prior to moving to radio, fitness has always been an important issue. A more sedentary job was leading to weight gain so Enrique and one of his closest friends agreed to join the 24 Hour Fitness Club in Miami and work out together. This seemed to be working well for them for several weeks until Enrique was verbally abused by the manager of the 24 Hour Fitness Club and physically assaulted by one of his employees. The club manager had concluded that these two men were in fact trainer and client as opposed to friends since one was obviously in much better shape than the other and this relationship violated a club policy. A heated discussion ensued, an employee began pushing Enrique toward the door, the police were called and a complaint was filed.

NAAFA advises our members and supporters to cancel all memberships to 24 Hour Fitness Clubs across the country. We encourage you to use any other gym, health club or fitness center as a form of protest against 24 Hour Fitness Clubs' mistreatment of and discrimination against fat people.

Founded in 1969, NAAFA is a non-profit human rights organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for fat people. NAAFA works to eliminate discrimination based on body size and provide fat people with the tools for self-empowerment through public education, advocacy, and member support.

For more information contact: Peggy Howell, Public Relations Director National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA) e-mail: naafa_pr@yahoo.comphone: (707)246-6116

Bottled Water 2011: Home | Environmental Working Group via @ewgtoxics Interactive Universe

Thursday, January 20, 2011

RT @MoveOn: @BarackObama, Americans are counting on you! Sign the petition for Obama to veto any Social Security cuts

How Much is Your Carcass Worth?

$4915.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth.
Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Sites Sesame Street Thriller

Send health care hypocrites in congress the form to repeal their own federal care! hcr @CREDOMobile pls RT of these Romney is the least offensive Plus size beauty Faycin A Croud's new blog about weighty issues. You tell 'em, Faycin!

I am going to finish the first draft of this short story I've been working on even if it kills one of us!

Still getting used to sticking glasses on my face in the morning, but it does help reduce the eyestrain queasies.

I need something to eat. I just don't want to eat anything that I have in the house. I have a house full of cats but they tend to be gamey.

Quote of the Day: "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” - Dr. Seuss Glowing mushrooms

Wednesday, January 19, 2011 dumb things to say to people with bipolar disorder bipolar disorder & preoccupation with death Bored? Head over to Pennywise's Abusement Park for a hell of a time

When you're @snoopdogg every day is puffpuffpasstuesdays :-D

Happy 202d birthday, Mr. Poe! January 19, 1809 – October 7, 1849

I can't help it, I like Dog the Bounty Hunter. Maybe it's the 'do. I could easily add a few more pounds of fat to my ass w/these! I lost my dad at the end of November, and this song always made me cry anyway. So...yeah.

Dining on the gourmet goodness of leftover pizza for dinner. Ghosts Aren't Really Supernatural

RT @pemaquotes "On bad days, I’m okay. On good days, I’m also okay.” This is equanimity. -Pema Chödrön The official book promotion blog (as opposed to my mindless blatherage) Aunt Rose's not so cheap prescription glasses

New Glasses

I finally got prescription glasses. I'm still getting used to them because they're progressive lenses (the bottom half is for close work, the top half is to correct my far-sighedness, which it turns out was only in my left eye, and the middle is no magnification.) Driving home today I could see the signs as well as I did 20 years ago, so I thought that was pretty damn slick! 

It's cold this morning and may snow. Maybe today's a sweatshirt kind of day.

Wish I could sleep. Hoping I don't tank on the pharmacy calculations test tomorrow. I'm so rusty! Even with studying I feel unsure.

willdaviddance Is David Duchovny too cool to fall for foolish stereotypes? Will he take the dare? I hope so!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Good one from Conan O'Brien. "Kanye West will have a gay love scene in a movie. The movie will be entitled Mirror and Kanye West." Captain America Fights Suicide

RT @pmduo Sex Education: Lessons in Fatphobia | Good Vibrations Magazine

Guess I'll go pick up my healthful dinner of Little Caesar's. When I don't have someone else around to cook for/with, I hate to cook.

RT @deepakchopra Value who you are. Enjoy your uniqueness and don't compare yourself with others and put yourself down. Love is everywhere!

"The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved." ~ Mother Teresa~

Have to refresh on pharmacy calculations to pass a test in order to do final semester of clinical work. Swell! I think it's nap time now. Aunt Rosie has figured out the formula for success!

Hot Damn! I've figured out the formula for Success!

Move over, Octomom! Here comes the Nonomom!

You'd think that discovering that Octomom made a fetish porn would cause me to tear both my uterus and eyeballs out, just in case. Well, there are scratches all over my face now, but I decided that I would need the uterus and it wouldn't hurt to keep the eyeballs either. Because lo and behold, I have discovered the formula for success, and it is contained in the horrible knowledge of Octomom Porn!
Friends, here is the way to fame in this day and age. I'll have myself fertilized with nine embryos and call myself the Nonomom. Then I will get an orange Oompa Loompa tan and every time I get out of a car I will be sure to expose my poontang. Since I'm trying to get recognized as a writer, I better also pen a purple-prose laden novel about sparkly zombies (sparkly vampires are so last year.) By George, I think I've got it at last! The dough should start rolling in anytime now! Dividing fractions...wild and crazy math stuffs! And now, Kiddies, here's how you multiply fractions! (Well, I'd forgotten...) Finding the common denominator for adding & subtracting fractions

Seeking a pharmacy calculations chart to help me on my test tomorrow. Sheeeeyit! Dear Jennifer Hudson, I Love You, but...

Jennifer Hudson, I Love You, But...

I can't be the only person in this world who thinks there wasn't a thing in this world wrong with Jennifer Hudson, pre-weight watchers. It isn't her that pisses me off, it's the ads. "Before weight watchers, everything in my life was 'can't.'" So, winning American Idol, being in all those wonderful movies, and all those fine performances she did, plus surviving the horrific murders of her mother, brother, and nephew were all 'can't?' How depressing to think this way!

Gonna be working during the day a couple days a week for a while. Guess I need to bother myself to buy makeup again. Meh!

Well, shit. Time to rise and groan. Shocking news--people with bipolar disorder should be treated as human! Sex is Overrated

Sex: Overrated and Overexposed in Our Society

With choices like this, being celibate isn't as hard as some people think

In our sex-obsessed, thinness-obsessed society, there is just one way other than not giving a shit about your weight to raise eyebrows and have everyone back away from you like you just announced that you have leprosy. Wanna know how? Just admit that you're celibate and you prefer it that way.
Now you're going to get two kinds of people. If you're a straight woman, you'll get well meaning and not so well meaning guys who want to be "the one" to talk you out of your celibacy. It won't matter if, like me, you're far from young, thin, and gorgeous. Said dudes will want to be so irresistable that you can't say no to their offer to end your celibacy because of their charms. Well, keep walking, guys. It is not going to happen here.
The second kind of person you'd get is the one who screams "ZOMGHOWCANYOUNOTWANTSEX????"
What they're saying is "I'm randy, I want to stick it to everything/let everything stick it to me. How can YOU not want that? Are you calling me a slut with your non-sexualness?"
Hey, it's your thing, do what you wanna do. But don't tell me who I should or shouldn't sock it to.
There are multiple reasons why I'm celibate, have been for the past twelve years, and choose to remain so for the rest of my life.
Initially it was not by choice. I'd just had so many bad experiences with men that I was completely discouraged about the whole process. 
Well, now that I've said "bad experiences with men" I'll get the lechers who like to imagine women getting it on with each other because they can't get a man, or other well-meaning types suggesting that I just haven't found my true calling yet. Wrong. I don't have a problem with women who are lesbians. But the idea of kissing another woman does nothing for me. I am attracted to men. Our sexual orientation is hard-wired. The idea of a straight person turning gay is as ridiculous as the idea that a gay person can "be reformed" and turn straight. Believe me, if I were going to "turn lesbian" the guys who I made the mistake of being with in the past would already have pushed me over the edge! 
Women who "turn lesbian" were either bisexual or homosexual in the first place.
Straight women do not "turn lesbian" when they give up the game with men. They become celibate.
So, the initial reason that I became celibate was because my man radar was set to "douchebag." It also turned out that my gay-dar was off, because the good guys I was interested in were invariably gay. There was still hope that somehow, somewhere, there was a decent man for me. Five years went by since my last (extremely stupid) relationship with a guy a number of years older than me whose emotions were turned to "arctic freeze" except when he needed a favor of some kind. I met a guy who wasn't pressuring me for sex, who was kind, who seemed to be everything I wanted. Turned out he was still married, his marriage was on the rocks, and while he never pressured me to meet his sexual needs, he was using me to meet his emotional needs. I thought there was really something there and I was disgusted. I think that's the point when I was really, really done.
I realized not long after that I was a lot happier not playing the game. I was always miserable when I had a man in my life. My emotional problems lead me to becoming attached too quickly to anyone who shows any sign of interest even if there are red flags with the word DOUCHEBAG in neon surrounding the dude. Once in a relationship, said emotional and mental problems lead me to become obsessed and paranoid. What is HE doing? Is HE cheating on me? (Probably--he's a douchebag.) How can I live without HIM if he dumps me? Why hasn't HE called me? Ye gods, what a waste of time and energy! 
And if the dude isn't a douchebag? He's invariably a little boy in a man's body, wanting me to be "mommy" to him. Sorry, I have a kid already. I don't need to adopt another one. Much of the time my emotional problems lead me to be unable to meet the needs of others. My marriage failed because of this. The grown-up child became jealous and angry when I started spending time on the actual child that I'd just given birth to. I'm actually not saying anything bad about my ex-husband, only pointing out that emotionally we were both very immature. Once children enter into the picture, such a union is doomed.
My mental state leads me to at times be very needy and at other times be very withdrawn. In the past I've clung to whatever came to me. NOT HEALTHY! 
In other words, I don't "do relationships" well. Best not to have them.
I also don't "do" casual sex well. I don't enjoy the detachment. If I'm going to make myself that vulnerable, there would have to be a lot of trust. There never has been. Never will be. You can't talk yourself into trust. I've got a million reasons for not trusting. People tend to get upset about this. My trust issues are not conducive to a romantic relationship. I actually can't even have close friendships because of this. That bothers me a lot more than the inability to have a romantic relationship.
Now, as to the physical reasons why I don't want sex--yes, I haz 'em!
The problems with my body make it so that sex is actually uncomfortable for me. 
I have problems with my spine. My lower back is pretty messed up. I can function on a daily basis but many things are harder than they should be. My lower body is a pretty uncomfortable place a lot of the time. 
My genitourinary system is also messed up. I have fairly severe urinary incontinence. This may be in part due to my spinal problems. It may be in part due to damage to my bladder that happened during my cesarean section. I had a lot of bladder spasms following that incident. It may be in part due to scarring following several severe urinary tract infections. It may be partly caused by endometriosis causing areas of pressure on my bladder. With endometriosis, parts of the endometrium grow on the outside of the uterus. These areas can become large enough to put pressure on the bladder. It may alleviate once I've gone through menopause and the areas shrink. I can always hope. And it may be in part idiopathic stress incontinence. Put it all together and you've got a rather uncomfortable situation in the lady parts. NOT FUN and not conducive to sexual pleasure. 
Oh yeah, and any guy that is turned on by getting peed on during sex? NOT someone I want to have sex with!
The only way such a situation could ever work would be for me to be with someone that I'd been with for years whom I trusted completely and who loved me enough that the urine leakage didn't bother him. Yeah...not happening in this lifetime.
At this point I'm also pretty much asexual anyway. I am genuinely celibate by choice. Given my druthers between having sex and doing something else--writing, reading a book, going for a walk, turning my mind to mush in front of the TV, eating--I'll choose anything but sex every time. Don't need it, don't want it. 
For whatever reason, some of us are just wired that way, and it's rude of people to try and convince us how wrong we are.
I'm a person, not a conquest. I'm something of a pariah, but I have my reasons for being the way I am.
We should learn to respect one another's sexual preferences--including asexuality. bipolar disorder and suicide

Every other ad is some weight loss crap. You'd think there were no real problems. Cancer or fat on your ass, which is worse? OMGDEATHFAT!

Monday, January 17, 2011

My calico cat is trying to kill me with a gas barrage. Maybe it's time to switch to a different food! You will be schooled in the essential information about calico cats! Was Lincoln in the closet?

When life hands you beans, make a burrito!

RT @jamesvanpraagh Fearful thoughts create an energy force that attracts what we fear. Recognize your fear & stop giving it power over you. Check out Olive Zombies. Fun retro stuff aplenty! Please visit Rose's new blog created to allow her spectral chum Kai Rikard to sound off. Hey! They're missing the mug of the famous Rose LeMort! Would you have children knowing that you are mentally ill?

Would you have children knowing that you have a mental illness?

This was a response to a post at the Manic Depressive Talk blog by a woman who has chosen not to have kids and catches a lot of shit for her decision. The decision to have children is a very personal thing. Other people need to BUTT OUT!

I had my son when I was 25. I was not diagnosed until I was 38, with type II bipolar. I am very glad that I had my son but sad that he has inherited the gene for mood disorders, although thus far his seems to be unipolar depression. I would never have another child knowing what I know now. My son says that he will never have children. Bipolar humor

Instead of a sign that says "Do Not Disturb" I need one that says "Already Disturbed Proceed With Caution." I'm bipolar 2. What are you? Nine myths about bipolar disorder

I'm Bipolar 2. What are You?

I have bipolar 2 and rapid cycle. I tend more towards depression. It's gotten worse since entering the perimenopausal phase of life. Also, my father dying six weeks ago has worsened my depression.
My cycles generally tend to be a week to ten days of severe depression (often coinciding with the onset of my period) a week to ten days of normal (although somewhat dysthymic) and perhaps a week of hypomania.
If I could bottle the hypomania, I'd be the most productive person in the world!