Friday, July 8, 2011

Breaking News: Michele Bachmann is a Reactionary Nut Job

Here is Michele's pledge to ruin save the United States. Let's take a look at each of these individually, shall we? Because Aunt Rose can't sleep and needs something to give her a laugh.

The Candidate Vow:Therefore, in any elected or appointed capacity by which I may have the honor of serving our fellow citizens in these United States, I the undersigned do hereby solemnly vow* to honor and to cherish, to defend and to uphold, the Institution of Marriage as only between one man and one woman. I vow* to do so through my:
* Personal fidelity to my spouse.
 Aunt Rose has no problem with this. Aunt Rose happens to like monogamy. Besides, Michele and her husband deserve each other.

* Respect for the marital bonds of others.
 Again, this is good. Aunt Rose does not like sleazy people who hit on other people's mates. Carry on.

* Official fidelity to the U.S. Constitution, supporting the elevation of none but faithful constitutionalists as judges or justices.

* Vigorous opposition to any redefinition of the Institution of Marriage - faithful monogamy between one man and one woman - through statutory-, bureaucratic-, or court-imposed recognition of intimate unions which are bigamous, polygamous, polyandrous, same-sex, etc.
 I don't get polyamory, but if all parties are in agreement, then I have nothing to say about it. I just don't want to participate in such a partnership. As for same sex marriage, I really don't get people who are threatened by it. I'm straight. How the hell is a gay couple getting married going to threaten any straight union that I may enter into? If a guy is gay, he isn't going to be interested in me anyway. So really, Michele and others who are threatened by same sex marriage--how does it affect you? What the hell are you worried about?

* Recognition of the overwhelming statistical evidence that married people enjoy better health, better sex, longer lives, greater financial stability, and that children raised by a mother and a father together experience better learning, less addiction, less legal trouble, and less extramarital pregnancy.
 Overwhelming statistical evidence huh? I'd say there is some statistical evidence. But I'm not here to quibble statistics. So--we should all get married even if we don't want to or stay in an unhappy marriage because DAMN IT THIS IS GOING TO MAKE US HAPPY! This makes no fucking sense. I would far rather be single than to be in a bad marriage. 
My son was four when his father and I got divorced. We had joint custody. I would rather not have had to raise my child as a single parent, but the marriage was so deteriorated and all we did was fight even though we had tried counseling. We got along much better as a divorced couple. 
My son has never been in any kind of legal trouble. He has never gotten a girl pregnant. He is now 21 and in school to become a pharmacy tech with an intention of going pre-med thereafter. A divorce wherein the couple remains civil to one another is far healthier than an unhappy marriage. As long as the kids know they're loved by both parents and the parents don't use the kid as a weapon against each other, that's what really counts.
Forcing people to stay in a bad marriage does not work. Keep your rules out of my house, Michele.

* Support for prompt reform of uneconomic, anti-marriage aspects of welfare policy, tax policy, and marital/divorce law, and extended "second chance" or "cooling-off" periods for those seeking a "quickie divorce."
what is this "quickie divorce" of which you speak? Perhaps such a beast exists. Even though my now ex husband and I were not contesting anything and did not involve lawyers, our divorce took a total of a year. I don't mind reforming "anti-marriage" rules on taxes or welfare because I think they're kind of bullshit. 

* Earnest, bona fide legal advocacy for the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) at the federal and state levels.
Bunch of damn, anti-gay, Fundie propaganda. Next.

* Steadfast embrace of a federal Marriage Amendment to the U.S. Constitution which protects the definition of marriage as between one man and one woman in all of the United States.
 She does sound like a broken record. Slag off, you cretin.

* Humane protection of women and the innocent fruit of conjugal intimacy - our next generation of American children - from human trafficking, sexual slavery, seduction into promiscuity, and all forms of pornography and prostitution, infanticide, abortion and other types of coercion or stolen innocence.
 "Innocent fruit of conjugal intimacy." That sounds dirty somehow. Of course I agree with protecting people from human trafficking or sexual slavery. As for "seduction into promiscuity," this is an iffy statement. Coercion of another person into sex is unethical and in some cases is sexual assault. In any case, it's not cool. But some people (like Michele) would take even a monogamous relationship between two unmarried young people as "promiscuity," at least on the part of the female.
People should not be forced into prostitution but I'm on the fence about legalizing prostitution. Of course no underage person should be selling sex. As for adults, I do not think that prostitutes should be charged with a crime. Legalizing prostitution might allow for laws protecting sex workers. That would be a positive thing. Keep in mind, I am not in favor of prostitution on a moral level. But I would like to see sex workers protected.
As for pornography, if it is between consenting adults, it should not be illegal. 
Nobody in their right mind would argue in favor of infanticide. Murder is a crime. As for abortion, there are gray areas. I don't like abortion. But I believe that it needs to remain safe and legal. Look at the Romanian orphans as an example for what happens when abortion is made illegal. A person should be able to obtain abortion on demand during the first trimester. Thereafter, decisions about abortion should be made in partnership with a medical professional. Things do go wrong during pregnancy and there are times when abortion is a medical necessity.

* Support for the enactment of safeguards for all married and unmarried U.S. Military and National Guard personnel, especially our combat troops, from inappropriate same-gender or opposite-gender sexual harassment, adultery or intrusively intimate commingling among attracteds (restrooms, showers, barracks, tents, etc.); plus prompt termination of military policymakers who would expose American wives and daughters to rape or sexual harassment, torture, enslavement or sexual leveraging by the enemy in forward combat roles.
Of course there should be rules safeguarding people from sexual harassment, rape, torture, enslavement, or sexual leveraging. 

* Rejection of Sharia Islam and all other anti-woman, anti-human rights forms of totalitarian control.
 You mean like Fundamentalist Christianity?
I don't like fundamentalist religion of any kind, which would include Sharia Islam.

* Recognition that robust childbearing and reproduction is beneficial to U.S. demographic, economic, strategic and actuarial health and security.
 Say whaaaat, Crazy Fool?
"Robust childbearing and reproduction."
Because we do not in any way have an overpopulation problem. 
It's time to go out there and get knocked up, Ladies! Better yet, let's all go Octomom and child-bear as robustly as possible! 
I am not going to turn my vagina into a Clown Car to satisfy Michele Bachmann's insane fundie agenda.

* Commitment to downsizing government and the enormous burden upon American families of the USA?s $14.3 trillion public debt, its $77 trillion in unfunded liabilities, its $1.5 trillion federal deficit, and its $3.5 trillion federal budget.
 Okay, sounds like a plan. And while we're at it, how about we quit outsourcing all our manufacture and tech support to other countries? How about we also tax the wealthiest instead of taxing the middle class into poverty?

* Fierce defense of the First Amendment?s rights of Religious Liberty and Freedom of Speech22, especially against the intolerance of any who would undermine law-abiding American citizens and institutions of faith and conscience for their adherence to, and defense of, faithful heterosexual monogamy.
But should you happen to speak of the right of gay couples to marry, you are out of line! head hurts. Fortunately I think this cretin is too much of a nut job to actually have a ghost of a chance to get elected. However, the fact that she's in office at all gives me pause.