Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Hot Damn! I've figured out the formula for Success!

Move over, Octomom! Here comes the Nonomom!

You'd think that discovering that Octomom made a fetish porn would cause me to tear both my uterus and eyeballs out, just in case. Well, there are scratches all over my face now, but I decided that I would need the uterus and it wouldn't hurt to keep the eyeballs either. Because lo and behold, I have discovered the formula for success, and it is contained in the horrible knowledge of Octomom Porn!
Friends, here is the way to fame in this day and age. I'll have myself fertilized with nine embryos and call myself the Nonomom. Then I will get an orange Oompa Loompa tan and every time I get out of a car I will be sure to expose my poontang. Since I'm trying to get recognized as a writer, I better also pen a purple-prose laden novel about sparkly zombies (sparkly vampires are so last year.) By George, I think I've got it at last! The dough should start rolling in anytime now!